Plan A Wedding: What to Wear for Engagement Pictures

Your photographer  should gives you some recommendations on what to wear for your engagement pictures.  But in case that conversation does not occur, here is what my photographer, Nancy, told me.  Keep in mind we kept ours very casual and had three outfits.

Colors in same family & jeans

Small patterns

• You cannot go wrong with jeans.  This applies to both brides- & grooms-to-be.
• Keep your colors in the same family, but not necessarily the same colors.  So if one wears pink, maybe the other can wear red.  A solid yellow and green shirt does not work as well.
• Both wear light or dark colors.  This helps with the photographer setting the low key and high key lighting.
• Big patterns doesn't work well.  Large floral prints or other patterns generally does not look so well in the pictures.  So stick to smaller patterns or solid colors. 
• Long sleeves.  This is mostly for the gentlemen, because it helps them dress a little more formally. 
• Pay attention to your shoes.  Another one for the gents, but generally flip flops and tennis shoes aren't preferred.  Unless that is what you are going for.  But your Vans and other solid colors are just fine.
• High heels always looks good.  For the ladies, this can never hurt.  I went with a nude pump that went with my multiple outfits.  
• Wear slightly darker makeup (eye & lip).  Do not need darker foundation or you will just look darker.  Just as stage actors wear exaggerated makeup that looks caked on close up, you want slightly more defined makeup for pictures.  Just do not go stage actor exaggerated.  Especially if PS (photoshop) is going to happen.

If you plan to bring your dog, remember to have a water bowl so his tongue isn't out every picture.  And remember your best accessories: your significant other and your smile!  Congratulations!
*Picture examples courtesy of our photographer (Lambert Photographs)*

Plan A Wedding: All the ways Pinterest is wrong

Who relies on Pinterest to plan their weddings?  I use it to not only get ideas, but also to determine my to-buy list.  While planning my wedding and talking to friends, I found one consistent trend.  Some things on Pinterest are obviously over the top and unlikely to happen.  Such as fireworks as you are leaving the reception.  However, other things seem like prevalent wedding trends but in reality no one I spoke with had these.  So save yourself some money and do not feel like you need these things (unless you really want it).

The Bride/Groom Chair Sign

How often do you see those signs on Pinterest for the bride and groom?  These are beautifully ornate or just simple signs.  Even when it looks like the bride and groom chair did not face the guests, these signs are present.  

Yet almost every wedding I've been to there have not been signs!  Maybe a different sash or some streamers added to the family and wedding party.  But no signs for the bride and groom.  Why?  Because they are not necessary!  Everyone at the wedding should know who the bride and grooms are!  We hope.  So save yourself some money and headaches, just skip this step.

The Place Card Stand

Such a beautiful idea, but if they do not also serve as a favor.  Guess what happens to them.  They are thrown out!  So you just spent about $1 per person for an item that is just thrown out.  Of course you can also make it yourself, because brides usually have a lot of time on their hand to make stands.

Place Card in General
Why does it have to be separate place card for each guest that just gets thrown away as soon as they are at their table?  Instead, do what we are considering.  Invest in a large frame (that you'll likely use) and list people's name and table.  Still put their name in alphabetical order instead of by table.  Easier for guests to find their name!

Cheap Bridesmaid Dress Sites

You can get some great ideas for bridesmaid dresses, but be cautious of the "cheap" sites.  You want to trust these sites because so many have pinned the dress.  But so few have actually bought from these sites.  Do your own research, every time!

What frustrates you about Pinterest Weddings?

Plan A Wedding: Your Engaged... Now what?

It is wonderful to know that I get to spend forever with someone I love very very much, C.  So what do you do now that you are engaged?

First register for www.theknot.com and start browsing.  The site gives you a very useful starting point for a generic wedding.  If you have finance concern, then visit www.frugalbride.com, which has useful ideas.  Unless you are in Canada, then there are a broader variety of aid.

C and I started with venue selection.  I started with a rather blank state mindset, and I believe the venue can dictate the rest of the choices.  More importantly, C was rather vested in where we have our wedding.  I consider myself very lucky that he is interested in these parts of our wedding selection?

Venue Cost Consideration
The Dress
Choosing the Perfect Photographer
What to wear for engagement photograph
Getting Economical Invitations
All the ways Pinterest is Wrong (Pinterest makes me think I need to spend more)

Plan A Wedding: The Perfect Photographer... ?

One of the best advice from all the photographers I met was... Look at the photographers' pictures and imagine yourself in those pictures.  Are you happy?  For someone who's technical knowledge of photography is limited despite a father who loves it, this was very useful advice.

A photographer will not be able to change their style to give you the style of pictures you want.  Instead, you have to find the photographer with the style you like.  If you are like me and cannot classify your style as the journalistic, editorial, or vintage styles, then this is the best way to find the right photographer.

There are some other nontechnical considerations you can assess.

You are invited to... our wedding

It's so expensive!  There have been no bride, I know of, who have not uttered that phrase at some point.  So to help us manage cost, we are using connections we have.  At first we had asked for a friend to design our invitation, while we looked into paper costs.  However, I am indecisive and while both C and my friend is extremely creative, we were unable to agree with a style.  As I was getting more and more frustrated and expressive my inability to choose a design and expressing self-dislike, I was reminded of the Chinese-American exchange rate.

So now I am looking at taobao.com and planning to purchase our invitation from there.  Obviously these invitations are usually printed in Chinese, but we have found buyers who are willing to print in English if we order 150.  However the cost is about $0.50 per invitation, which is much less than the ones I have found here.  To have a reception card, we are using a business card printed with our phrase.   The site is in Chinese, but one of my bridesmaid speaks/reads fluent Chinese.  She has coordinated to have someone receive our invitation in China and then get it to us in the US.  So consider that path if you do not feel like making your own invitation.

Plan A Wedding: THE Dress

So I have a long torso and short legs.  Standing at only 5'3," I am very close to the average height for a woman.  However, my insecurities dictated how I saw myself in those dresses.  In the end, I could not fall in love with how I looked in a ball gown or sheath silhouettes.  Of course I love the ball gown style.  After all, I grew up on Disney princess movies and that influenced my wedding dreams growing up.  Alas the style does not give me the elongated look that I found with the A-line and fit-and-flare (sometimes mermaid).

Lessons
Know when to STOP: This lesson has been told to me many times before I started.  However when I started searching it was very difficult to stop.  I fell into the trap of believing there is one perfect dress.  So I went through many beautiful dresses, but could not figure out what I saw through all the comments from people.

Go Critical: I found my shopping trip was a lot more productive when I went with more critical friends and family.  Though the right type of critical.  Someone who could still look at dresses critically but with consideration of my taste.  Wedding dresses are beautiful.  They make people look beautiful.  So when my friend always said "Oh you look beautiful," it was not helpful.  But when their dialogue became "This dress.. looks better than" or when comparisons occurred.  That became very constructive comments.

Sometimes you will cry but more often you will just get a feeling of "this is the one."  So all those shows where the bride cries.  Not what you should be aiming for.

Plan A Wedding: Costs Consideration for Venue

The biggest expense for a wedding is usually the venue.  So if we could save money here then we would have a greater likelihood of maintaining our budget.  So when comparing locations, we considered the following cost variables.

Reception:

• Rental cost of the venue: IF there is one, because many of the ones we saw do not have separate rental cost
• Food cost: listed per person and usually depends on the dish selected
• Alcohol cost: we found some BYOB locations, pay per drink/pour and included in the food pricing package.  Depending on your guest, obviously the cheapest cost will vary.  Also you can choose to use the voucher system where you pay for 2 drinks and then the rest the guest pays. 
• Plating cost: Some food price are listed for plating but others are listed for a buffet.  Some places charged more for plating and others asked for a per person cost to have plating.
• Choice cost: Charge for having alternative dishes that your guests can choose between.  Usually seen in the standard chicken, beef, or vegetarian choice
• Hor d'oeuvre cost: Most reception locations (or caterer) will include some cocktail hour food, but the form varies.  Some places we visited provide a cheese table but no white glove butler service.  Others provide white glove butler service, but stationary foods are add-ons.  This is definitely a location to cut cost even after you fall in love with a venue.  Even if they offer a choice, you can use it to negotiation lower cost if you choose to downgrade.
• Bartend cost: Alcohol might be provided but that does not mean there are not additional cost for bartenders.  This seems illogical but that is sadly how some places nickel-and-dime you.  Not to mention you should consider that if you have a lot of guests, one bartender might not be enough. So consider that cost.
• Chair Upgrade cost: Most locations will usually let you upgrade your chair for a cost.  Most pictures featured on their website are with the upgraded chairs.
• Linen Upgrade cost: To compare cost, most places we found had floor-length table covers but we found a few that required us to pay if we wanted floor-length.  Honestly I was open to having shorter table length but I wanted to have a fair comparison between our choices.
• Projector: Many weddings I have been to had a projector strolling through pictures of the couple. I recently found out that is generally provided by the venue and it will cost extra.  So if plan to have it, make sure it is possible and the cost.

Ceremony:

• Ceremony venue cost: Can be included in the reception venue cost, but sometimes there is still a charge for change-over.  Obviously if you have two separate venues, then there is definitely a cost.  
• Cost for additional hour: Some places will say 2 hours, but that includes the time given to you to get dressed.  Other locations will mean 2 hours for the ceremony but you can have plenty of time to set up.